


this is the place (i call home)

by ralf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood knows how to make a statement, Fluff, Go Big or Go Home Alec Lightwood, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sappy, Sappy Ending, extremely sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 09:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: “You know, I was thinking. You spend almost every night here.. so what if we moved in together?”The smile that blooms on Alec's face is everything Magnus imagined and more.“Now?” he asks, excitement clear as day in his voice. “I can get the rest of my things and be settled in before the night is over.”Magnus bites his lip. “About that. I think we should go apartment hunting.”





	this is the place (i call home)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bohemian (Linguam)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linguam/gifts).



> One day late, but I'm so happy I managed to finish it this week! For Bohemian because of that one thing you wrote in that one comment *flails unhelpfully* you know the thing, right? Okay, good.  
> Anyway I hope you all enjoy this :) :o *anxious sounds*

He's been putting it off for weeks now. He knows it's not fair to Alexander, to keep him waiting just because he has trouble getting over himself. Not that Alec _knows_ , exactly, that Magnus is making him wait, his lizard brain keeps reasoning. But that's not the _point_.

The point is... well. It's complicated.

But he's been running away for long enough now. It's time to stop.

So when Alec arrives for the evening and they've exchanged their usual greeting kisses and whispered words Magnus takes heart and smiles at Alec with a playfulness he doesn't entirely feel. “You know, I was thinking. You spend almost every night here.. so what if we moved in together?”

The smile that blooms on Alec's face is everything Magnus imagined and more. Any regret he feels about the turn the conversation is about to take is silenced for the moment.

“Now?” Alec asks, excitement clear as day in his voice. “I can get the rest of my things and be settled in before the night is over.” He smiles a little, embarrassed. “There's not much left at the Institute anyway.”

Magnus bites his lip. “About that. I think we should go apartment hunting.”

“What?” Alec frowns, confusion taking the place of his joy. “You don't want to stay here?”

Well. It's complicated. He's only been hedging over this for almost an entire month.

Of course he wants to stay here. The loft is his home, has been his home for decades now. But.

“I want to start something new with you, Alexander. I don't want to...” He trails of, shaking his head, searching for the right words. “I don't want to clear out two and a half shelves for you and have you fill in the spaces I deigned to vacate, as if you were an afterthought. You deserve more than that.” He closes the distance between them, settling his hands on Alec's shoulders and relaxes when Alec's arms immediately wind around his middle. “You deserve a place that's as much your home as it is mine.”

Alec is watching him with intent eyes and Magnus lets his gaze wander around the room. “And this loft....” Every last corner is crammed with memorabilia of his life, most of which are older than Alec and mean nothing more to him than that they belong to Magnus. He has no connection to these items, he had no say in the color of the drapes or the couch or the carpet and it's _wrong_. He deserves something that's his own choice, his own style, his _own_. Magnus can't imagine Alec would voluntarily put a golden bust in his living room if he had a say in the matter.

“But I love the loft,” Alec notes, pulling Magnus's focus back to him. “I love that it's you.”

He opens his mouth as if to say something more, but whatever he sees in Magnus's eyes makes him cave immediately. “Okay. As you wish.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

They go looking at apartments. Alec stays mostly silent, examining everything with a tiny frown that never quite leaves his face. All of Magnus's attempts to coax a reaction from him result in a hesitant smile and a noncommital “It's nice.”

It leaves Magnus slightly frustrated and with guilty relief every time they return to the loft and Alec looks around with a grin, sighing, “I like it better here.”

Magnus's heart squeezes and he forces himself to say, “Maybe the next one will catch your eye.”

Alec just hums.

 

~ ~ ~

 

It's been almost two weeks of fruitless search when Alec announces, “I've found the perfect apartment. You're going to love it” almost as soon as he steps through the front door, a wide grin lighting up his face.

Magnus's heart beats higher at Alec's contagious enthusiasm and simultaneously plummets into his stomach with dread. The way Alec is smiling leaves no room for doubt that this is it. Magnus swallows. So the day to say his final goodbye to his loft has come. He's been living here for more than the last three decades. He might remain young in appearance (and spirit, he hopes) but the older he grows the more he's grown attached to his familiar, secure home. Giving it up feels like giving up part of his life.

But it will be worth it, Magnus reminds himself. If it puts that kind of light in Alexander's eyes it will be worth any sacrifice on his part. And it's not like he's totally unflexible. He can get used to a new housing.

“Tell me everything,” he asks, taking Alec's hand in his.

Alec laces their fingers together, licking his lips nervously. “Actually I have a whole tour prepared.” Magnus thinks he sees a slight blush creeping over Alec's cheeks but it might be a trick of the light. “If you open us a portal I'll show you.”

Magnus hesitates for barely a second. Delaying the inevitable won't do him any good and the way Alec talks about this apartment fills him with curious anticipation. He wants to see what Alec chose for them.

He opens a portal right there in the hallway, shaping it to bend to Alexander's will.

“Close your eyes,” Alec instructs and Magnus obeys, excitement flickering to life in his chest. Alec squeezes his fingers and after a moment tugs him forward. Magnus feels the sensation of crossing time and space, and then they're through.

Instinctively he reaches out with his senses and his magic to get an impression of the place Alec took them to. His eyes fly open when he meets something he knows all too well and yes, they're still in the loft, just a little farther into the main room from where he created the portal.

He turns to Alec who is biting his lip sheepishly.

“Alec, what..” He trails off, unsure how to end that question.

“I had a tour prepared, remember?” Alec straightens and grabs Magnus's other hand too. “Let me show you around and then you can decide if you want to give this place a shot, alright?”

Magnus manages a nod, too stunned and perplexed to answer.

“Okay. Great.” Alec gestures around the main room. “So the first advantage, as you see, is this loft is already furnished.”

A startled laugh escapes Magnus and he shakes his head fondly at Alec. “Yes. Whoever decorated it clearly has wonderful taste.”

Alec smiles too, the rest of his nerves dissipating. “Yeah, that were my thoughts exactly.” He points to the glass windows. “There's a very picturesque view of the Brooklyn skyline and a generous balcony, but we'll get to that later. I want to show you the indoors first.” He leans in as if to tell Magnus a secret. “Let me tell you, the tub in the master bathroom is obscenely huge. I think it has jets.”

Magnus laughs again because Alec is overly fascinated by the jets and turns them on any chance he gets.

“But we'll start with the kitchen,” Alec directs, and they make their way over, fingers still laced together.

Magnus takes in the kitchen island, the pots and pans, the cupboards, the ajar door to the pantry. It's the same it's always been, a room he rarely used before Alec and now only uses to watch Alec prepare food when he's in the mood to cook.

He looks at Alec now, who's smiling at the stove fondly, but turns to him when he feels his gaze. “Remember the first time I cooked something?”

Magnus smiles. “Yeah. You threw an egg on the floor.”

“For the last time, it was an _accident_. It slipped from my hand,” Alec grouses, but he's smiling too.

“You were so embarrassed. You couldn't stop blushing and apologizing for half an hour.”

Alec pouts, but doesn't deny it. “I wanted to impress you so bad and then this stupid egg had to ruin everything,” he mumbles.

Magnus leans into his side. “I was impressed. Still am. Though your reflexes still leave a bit to be desired,” he can't help but tease.

Alec nudges him with his shoulder, but there's no heat behind it. “You know I cook for Izzy and Jace sometimes, but have you ever seen the kitchen at the Institute?”

Magnus shakes his head.

“It's terrible. There's like three and a half pots and the one cooking spoon that's not charred is broken off at the handle. When I first set foot in this kitchen I wanted to weep tears of joy.”

Magnus chuckles and Alec continues, “I love cooking here. It's peaceful, I have everything I need and you're always keeping me company. I wish for nothing more when we're here together.”

He moves closer, just brushing his cheek over Magnus's temple. “This kitchen is a place I could spend every one of my evenings at in happiness.”

Magnus feels his heart grow a few sizes and he wordlessly presses a kiss to Alec's shoulder.

They stay there for another moment before Alec gently pulls on his hand again. “Come on, there's still a lot more I need to show you.”

Magnus lets himself be led back to the main room. Alec stops halfway to their bedroom near the couches. He pats the black one's backrest. “This is where I held you in my arms for the first time,” he says and nods to the place in front of the couch. Magnus remembers it, remembers taking Alec's strength and still collapsing against him, the surprise he felt when Alec caught him securely and didn't let go.

“It's also the place where I spend my first night ever away from the Institute,” he continues and Magnus blinks, taken aback.

“You never told me that before.”

Alec shrugs. “Considering all the other firsts we shared it didn't seem important,” he says, his thumb caressing the back of Magnus's hand and sending shivers down his spine.

His serene presence right beside Magnus is a stark contrast to how he was then, skittish and unwilling to form any kind of attachment. Magnus is inevitably drawn closer.

 _Everything about you is important_ , he wants to say, but Alec has already turned to look over his shoulder towards the door. “This is the place you first told me you trusted me,” he goes on and Magnus remembers the next day, when he finally acknowledged to himself that Alec was so much more than just a pretty face. Alec had fled, but not before admitting that he trusted him in turn. Magnus had treasured those words then, and he still does.

Alec steps closer to the blue armchair off to the side of the room and Magnus follows. They take a moment just to look at it, and Magnus supposes they're both revisiting the same memory. Alec confirms his suspicion when he says, “This is the place where you did trust me with your past.”

It's bittersweet, recalling that evening. Magnus still finds comfort when he pictures Alec's unwavering conviction, staring into his eyes and alleviating his deepest fears of rejection, promising so much more than what he'd said with words. Still, the memories it's connected to are tinged with darkness, and Magnus is relieved when Alec moves on to the bedroom.

They pause on the threshold, Alec finally letting go of his hand just to wrap both of his arms around Magnus, settling heavily against Magnus's back. They let their gazes roam over the familiar scape of their bedroom, the heart of their home, the overstuffed dresser and the dark closet. The golden sheets on their bed.

“This is where you let me have you for the first time,” Alec whispers, right into his ear and straight into his heart. “This is where you showed me what it's like to be loved heart and soul. It's where you showed me a love I never dared to dream of.”

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes, but further words escape him.

Alec seems to understand anyway, brushing his lips over Magnus's cheek in silent answer.

They remain for a short while, lost in intimacy past and present, until Alec lightly squeezes Magnus's waist. “Ready for the last stop of our tour?”

“Yes.”

Even if Alec hadn't told him before it feels natural to head to the balcony. The night air is cold around them but Magnus barely feels it, too warmed from the inside. They lean against the railing, taking in the many flickering lights of the bustling city around them, the hum of traffic and life, overlayed with the peaceful silence of being alone with each other. This, more than anyting, feels like coming home. Alec sighs and Magnus feels his contentment.

“This is where we had our first reconciliation after our first fight,” he says, voice soft. “It's where I've apologized time and again after screwing up and where you've forgiven me, always.”

Magnus feels Alec glancing at him. “This is where I come to when I'm at my lowest, knowing you'll be there to pick me up.” The image of Alec with bloodied knuckles flashes before Magnus's eyes and he moves closer instinctively, their bodies touching from arm to hip to knee. Alec leans into him, his weight soothing and familiar. “This is where we bare our hearts to each other, where we support each other when things get rough.”

Alec takes a deep breath as if steeling himself and Magnus faces him in time to catch him biting his lip, eyes fixed on the city skyline before he turns to meet his gaze with determination. “This is where I want to propose to you someday.”

Magnus swears his heart skips several beats and he's still reeling when Alec looks back to the loft, the lights inside making it glow warm and inviting in the early night.

“This is where I want to see our children grow up,” he states simply, and Magnus knows he sees it all playing out in his mind, a vision of the future he always knew he couldn't have.

His feelings are too much for his chest to hold, stealing his breath and jamming his throat, and all he can do is focus on Alexander, the man he loves more than he could ever imagine, more than he thought possible.

And just when he feels he's about to burst with it all, Alec speaks again.

“This loft is the place where I want to spend my life, with you.” His eyes find Magnus's once again, searing right into his soul with their intensity. “This is my home, Magnus. We don't need a new apartment to, I don't know, assert my claim. I already feel like I belong here. But if you really want us to leave the loft behind and find some other place that's fine by me, too.” A small unselfconscious smile tugs on his lips. “You know I'd follow you anywhere.”

Magnus finds he can't speak, faced with so much sincerity, so much truth, so much _love_ that he just swallows and nods, helpless to meet Alec's confession with anything but a _Yes_.

He closes the space between them, letting his kiss express what his voice can't, settling into Alec's warm embrace.

“I love you so much, Alexander,” he finally manages to say and Alec smiles, a beautiful delicate thing for Magnus alone to behold.

“I know. And I love you, too.”

 


End file.
